"He's not stung, he's not stinging, he's STING!": a review of David Lynch's 1984 shitsterpiece Dune

let me pre-empt this by saying i love just about everything david lynch has touched. if you haven´t already explored the lynchian universe, i can only offer this to convince: his films are pure exercises in mood and atmosphere. plot is secondary to behavior, characterization, and circumstance (much like real life, i would say, even though at first the films appear to have nothing to do with reality). if you think you might be in to this, i would suggest going out and renting every lynch film except:

Dune (1984), based on the novel by Frank Herbert

so last saturday i'm in Saturn at Alexanderplatz (German equivalent of Best Buy) browsing the DVDs and i come across a section organized by director. the last DVD under David Lynch is a 2-disc set of Dune. i was very excited because Dune happens to be the only Lynch project i havent seen and at a sehr, sehr klein Preis of 4,99 Euro, i decided to hook it up. the thing about dune is that lynch ended up inflating the budget beyond belief ("i promise, i just need 50 grand for 2 tons of theatrical mucus, then thats it") and getting into a major creative conflict with those putting up the money. in the end there were several versions released including a theatrical version (endorsed by lynch) and a longer television version (not endorsed by the man).

so, i set up the projector, bought a 0,5L Czech Beer, a falafel im brot, and dove in.

the film starts with a young virginia madsen (paul giamatti's love interest in A. Payne's unexpectedly good film Sideways) as princess irulan explaining the premise of the film whilst fading in and out to star scenes and some pretty sweet graphics showing the planets in the dune universe (let's call it the 'duniverse'). it reminded me of the floating credits at the beginning of star wars. (it should be noted here that lynch was actually given the keys to Return of the Jedi and turned it down! talk about balls...) anyway, then the credits roll over shots of deserts. overall i really dig the intro. i like how lynch's directorial tools are pretty elementary, fading one image over another, in and out.

so basically in the duniverse you got a series of planets, the residents of which can't seem to live in harmony (standard sci-fi premise #3 on the list of the top 5 sci-fi premises). and on one particular planet, you got a precious spice called melange, which is capable of a number things including (although not limited to): causing a heightened state of consciousness, allowing for interstellar travel, and in general making everybody who gets within 2 meters of it a little bit loony. i think its a metaphor for television.

so anyhow the emperor wants to set a trap and pit several of the races in the duniverse against each other so he publicly hands control of the spice mining from the Harkonnens (led by this wacky mutated baron and his wackier nephews, one of which is played by Sting i kid you not.) to the Atreidis led more or less by a potential chosen-one named Paul (played by Kyle Showgirls MacLachlan).

at this point i'm thinking "ok, although the plot is a bit over-complicated and a bit standard really, there is still loads of potential here for the typical sci-fi blockbuster".

where does lynch go with it? somewhere else. after the credits, we're basically taken on a slow paced tour through incredibly detailed worlds where not so much happens but people dress up in amazing costumes and walk through intricately designed palaces and caverns. very kubrick-esque. but it is this characteristic that makes it a textbook shitsterpiece. i even slept a half an hour sometime after Paul meets up with the Fremen. and when i awoke i was able to fold myself right back into the film as though nothing had happened. it was mindblowing, as if i was on melange.

also, evidently the characters in this film have in fact NOT lost their inner monologue (due to the unfreezing process) and therefore periodically we get to hear such insightful voiceovers as, "i wonder why he would do that." or, "why am i feeling this?" i guess they felt Kyle just couldn't pull off a "why am i feeling this?" facial expression.

the thing about all this, however, is that despite its virtual lack of mainstream appeal, i love it because it is chock full of the standard david lynch preoccupations such as b-movie special effects, hideous floating booger-like creatures, sexual ambiguity, fringe behaviors, and rock stars. thats right, lynch likes casting rock stars. from marilyn manson in lost highway to david bowie in twin peaks, and in this case to Sting... so Sting plays one of the baron's goofy nephews and he acts his little heart out and in one lynch-esque scene, the baron is floating around this smoking chamber and giggling gaily about something going on inside. when the baron is distracted, the fun stops and the "object" in the chamber comes out:

we all do things from time to time that maybe we shouldn't have. on the other hand, i might do something like this if david lynch asked me to. in any case, i give the film 3.5 stars. the bottom line is: the film is virtually unwatchable but quite fun to sort of look at whilst eating cheap food. nevertheless a shitsterpiece. plus you got sting in this get-up. and sandworms.

i guess this wasn't much of a film review but rather a review of the experience of watching a film. i'm ok with that. i hope you are too. OR, perhaps it was just a vehicle for posting an image of a hug-seeking Sting wearing an art-deco-wing-tip thong.