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Thursday, February 5, 2009

a wordological wordism: "schumacher" (v.)

schumacher (auf Deutsch: schumacher)
usage: (to) schumacher (something)

to embellish, alter, or manipulate something for ANY or ALL of the following reasons:

1. a 3-picture deal
2. $16.4 million
3. widespread appeal
4. putting asses in seats.

Origin: In the mid-90´s, as a kind of modern-day (and high-profile) version of Ed Wood, film director Joel Schumacher took the reins of an otherwise respectable filmmaking tradition (Batman) and turned it into a tour-de-FARCE. With nothing even remotely harkening to the creativity and zaniness of the old TV show nor the darkness and slick stylized storytelling of the two Tim Burton Batman projects, the (count 'em) two Schumacher Batman films took the series (and superhero films in general) to an all-time low. Appearing as though Schumacher called all the A-list celebrities he knew and asked them to run around in costume on a Hollywood sound stage, Batman Forever (1995), and Batman & Robin (1997) have come to represent a period of complacency, over-indulgence, and what-the-fuck-is-this-itude in Hollywood cinema. Recently, Christopher Nolan has resurrected the legend yet again, more so in the Burtonesque tradition (minus a kick-ass musical theme from danny elfman), and going perhaps more extreme into gritty realism (which apparently everyone has to do now because of, I dont know, terrorism and Computer Animation?) It was as though, following 9/11, everyone was like, "Shit! violence IS real! I had no idea...from now on, we better stick to representing reality!"...but I digress. Anyway, while the new films have been well received, The Ad Hoc Project is concerned that Batman has become a bit of the village bicycle and would like to encourage the general superhero discourse to move on (read: lots of pressure on The Watchmen).

*NOTE: While normally we attempt to champion fair and balanced reporting, the staff here at the The Ad Hoc Project must confess that we unanimously feel that the first Batman film, Batman (1990), is really the first and best post-modern attempt on the story. Tim Burton´s storytelling skills, his collaboration with danny elfman and prince, and his signature balance of realism and style, combined with some awesome casting decisions and performances make the film the only one necessary. The next 5, we find irrelevant. Also when lined up next to each other, we feel that the Batmoblie from the first film is 47% more "menancing", and 62% "cooler-looking" than the Batmobile from any of the other films.

1 comment:

Jesse said...

I'll be god damned

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