from the prc
The first and most important order of business to consider when opening a new office is the selection of a good espresso machine.
I brought it home.
And it died.
I fed it Tortilla Chips and Guacamole but it still died.
I played it a record of a symphony by Jean Sibelius but it died anyway.
It had plenty of daylight. It even went so far as to comment on how nice the daylight was.
Then it died.
I prepared a soft bed for it and read Jules Verne to it. It listened, fell asleep, and then died.
In the summer, I took it to the beach and built it a sand castle. Then it stomped on the sand castle and died shortly thereafter.
On Tuesday, I made it pancakes. It stared at the pancakes for about 7 minutes, then it went outside and drowned itself.
We sat on the sofa together and watched episodes of Seinfeld. About halfway through the third one, it stopped breathing.
My advice would be
next time, don't leave it with me.
With world markets crumbling, the unpredictable behavior of crude oil pricing, and the rapid dissapearance of available credit, the economy is headed, as the poet said, the rightway for a smackedbottom and i dont care who knows about it.
In response to this, we are all attempting (or not attempting as the case may be), in our various sectors, to find ways to reduce spending and/or the costs themselves through various methods including firings, undercuttings, overslappings, sidepinnings, bombings, burning of credit documents, gripefittings, pillaging of villages, teargas, paper-towel-usage-reduction, abatement, blackmail, sabotage, strategic whining, and humiliation, to name a few.
The architecture industry has been hit especially hard, since the rich people that architects depend on have become suddenly pessimistic and conservative (with their money, that is). To get through this dark, pathetic, and difficult time, it seems clear that we must start small. On this note, the Ad Hoc project would like to present: Architectural Budget-Saving Tip #73 - The Triple-John Fallacy.
The short of it is this: NEVER EVER, ever install 3 urinals in a row in a men's restroom. The middle urinal will NEVER get used. Save your client the $78.95 for the middle urinal, and watch them grin in self-adulation for having hired such a brilliant, cost-conscious architect. To explain, we imagine a situation with 3 Urinals labeled 1, 2, and 3, and 3 Men labeled A, B, and C, as well as the following postulate: "When given the opportunity to choose, the average man will NOT stand in a penis-exposed position directly next to another man."
The following tends to occur:
1. Upon entering the empty restroom, Man A will engage either Urinal 1 or Urinal 3 (depending upon whether he employs a right or left handed grip), in effect providing a possible Man B with an obligatory 1-stall spacing. Let's say Man A is a south-paw, and he therefore engages the right-most stall (Urinal 3), and initiates evacuation. (The grip-hand is used like a shield, protecting the package from unauthorized inspection.)
2. Upon entering a restroom with Urinals 1 & 2 free and Urinal 3 in use, Man B will instinctively pounce on Urinal 1, regardless of his grip preference.
3. When faced with this scenario, known as a "1-3 Split", Man C will improvise and execute a maneuver called a "Pre-wash Delay", in effect re-routing his motion vector toward the sink for a soapless hand rinse killing the 20-30 seconds until Urinal 1 or 3 is free.
In controlled experiments, the use of partitions seems to have no effect on this phenomenon, as walls only function to heighten the paranoia of being watched.
DISCLAIMER: The Ad Hoc project holds no responsibility for the cancellation of your project even if it occurs despite the $78.95 urinal savings. It that case it was most likely just a shitty design.
/Ad Hoc out.
first select the the people
rotate the people 180 degrees
mirror them so they face each other
put each on a different layer
create a folder
give the folder a name: "Them"
move the people into this folder
move this folder below the "sky" layer and above the "ground" layer
open the folder
adjust the contrast so that the people are stronger against the background
create a new layer "sun"
move this layer above the "sky" layer
use the paint bucket to fill the window with a yellow color
add trees and plants
apply the motion filter
print
to fyootch:
to time travel backwards, locate friends and contemporaries of one's ancestors (and/or the ancestors themselves), and intervene somehow in reaction to things they are going to do later in life.
various usage examples:
In my dream, Shawn Penn fyootched his great-great-great-grandfather a mean one.
Shawn Penn is a bastard fyootcher.
Cyberdyne Systems sent a Terminator to 1984 to pull a major fyootch on Sarah Connor.
In a textbook sci-fi-counter-fyootch, John Connor sent Kyle Reese back to 1984 as well.
Biff Tannen committs negligent-self-fyootch in Back to the Future II, followed by a Marty-Mcfly-counter-fyootch whose murder is averted only by a classic Doc-Brown authoritative-rescue-fyootch.
